How to Win Friends & Influence People: Summary & Review

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Introduction

Writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie gives us his recommendations for getting what you want from people by changing your behavior in the classic book that gave birth to the self-help genre, How to Win Friends & Influence People. He delves into the fundamentals of dealing with people and becoming a great leader. Carnegie developed these principles by drawing from examples of persuasive people in history and from his own experiences. Although he wrote the book in the mid-1930s, these basic principles of social skills are timeless, usable and presented in an easy-to-read and personal style. Although you can find many summaries of this book elsewhere, I wanted to distill Mr. Carnegie’s recommendations down to the basic principles.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Influence People

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest Improvement and praise every Improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Memorable Quotes from Dale Carnegie

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”
“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
“Success is getting what you want.. Happiness is wanting what you get.”

“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.”
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. ”
“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.”

“If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be. ”
“Even god doesn’t propose to judge a man till his last days, why should you and I?”
“Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.”
“Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”

“Our thoughts make us what we are.”
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”
“No matter what happens, always be yourself.”
“Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, for your character is what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

Conclusion for How to Win Friends & Influence People

I would rate How to Win Friends & Influence People as excellent, a 9 on a 0 to 10 scale. Carnegie gives you a ton of useful advice, and although some of his examples and sayings may be somewhat outdated, no one has said it better.

If you are interested in leveraging your knowledge of winning friends and influencing people into developing a new business, working from home and earning money online, then I invite to look into the online educational courses that I myself took through the Entre Institute. If you want to learn more about Entre, CLICK HERE.